


Cut the grass

by AssHolHorse



Category: One Piece
Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Jabs, M/M, algae - Freeform, hair shenanigans, unsafe hairdressing practices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:54:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22635505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AssHolHorse/pseuds/AssHolHorse
Summary: Zoro wouldn't say he was scruffy, but his hair had grown enough to get in the way of his training and he couldn't allow that.How fortunate the rest of the crew is willing to help.
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 13
Kudos: 131





	Cut the grass

Zoro wouldn't say he was too scruffy, not as much as the cook made it look anyways. At least he wasn't the one waking up before sunrise to put on a fancy suit just to _cook breakfast_ (not that he would reject it even if he had made it while wearing just a thong, because it was good food and Zoro wasn't a fool). No, he definitely wasn't scruffy, he even shaved! But one day when he trained, some of his hair got in the way, tickling over his eyelids and shading his vision.

He combed it back with his fingers- the sweat from the effort would keep it stuck- and resumed the activity.

And then it got in the way, again.

This time he blew the strands away, it would be a burden to stop again, and soon he found it had no use.

The troublesome hairs were definitely too long to stay out of his way, but not quite enough to be tucked behind his ear. He grunted and looked around the Sunny. He refused to ask the witch for anything lest she dared to add it to his debt, whatever the amount it was at this point. Robin was nowhere in sight, and just like the rest they had accepted she would sometimes be impossible to be found, just to sneak behind anyone with as much sound as the breeze.

Usopp it was.

He found the sniper tinkering with some colorful substances held in everything from flasks to paper, and writting something down into a worn down notebook like his life depended on it, and then he mixed something with something else and _was it squirming inside the test tube? Gross._

"Oi" he called. The other man continued immersed in his work, nodding to himself as he placed the flask over a burner. Zoro tensed as he could smell the faint scent of gunpowder in the air and despite blowing shit up being more of a Franky thing as of late, it wouldn't be the first time Usopp had almost lost half of his nose over a casualty.

Zoro cleared his throat again. "Oi Usopp!" he yelled louder. The smaller man flinched in surprise before turning with some suspicion, sweat dropping down his forehead.

"What is it Zoro?"

The swordsman arched a brow because it sure seemed like he was expecting something to be discovered, but he decided to drop the _what did you do_ for the sake of his training. "I need something for this." He pointed at the tuft of hair like it was personally offending him. Usopp visibly relaxed, then dug around his pockets and fished a hairband. "C'me here" he said, and Zoro obeyed, leaning forward until he was into the sniper's reach.

Usopp had made it so that his hair stuck up like a green Yorkshire Terrier. A green Yorkshire Terrier that could cut him into paper-thin slices if he ever made the comment, so Usopp stayed quiet, gave him thumbs up and saw Zoro go on his way.

Then a hysteric laugh resonated through the whole boat.

"So it finally is rice sprouting season!!!" Sanji yelled with joy. "That's good that's good, a pity it's surrounded by algae!"

Usopp decided to lock the door of the workshop and pray for the mess not to reach that room.

This time, there was a common agreement (as in _Nami decided_ ) that Sanji had started that fight, so after both of the parties helped the distraught Franky and Usopp fix the damage, he would have to cut Zoro's hair (despite the latter's protests). Luffy chipped in with his menu choices for dinner and made them mandatory, and Sanji just let a heavy sigh as he got up from his sitting spot on the floor, rubbing the back of his head where Nami had smacked him and taking that as an advantage to elbow Zoro. "Got it" he said. "I better get started then" he stated with annoyance.

"Then keep it shut next time" Zoro mumbled.

Before any kick could be sent his way, Nami cleared her throat, and that was enough to keep peace. "Make yourself useful and catch a sea king!" Sanji yelled, before closing the door of the galley.

Despite everything, Sanji was a man of his word, even more if they were direct orders from their lovely navigator. A small, trusty pair of dressmaker shears that more often than not were used for every purpose on board _but_ cutting fabric was the tool of choice Sanji had chosen to prune the marimo. Franky had given then to him wiggling his eyebrows and blabbered something about spending time alone with Zoro with a lecherous grin on his face. Sanji grimaced with offense which was barely enough to hide the shame that dusted his face in the process. How could he dare to suggest such thing?

He had checked thrice in case the scissors had some sort of mechanism, or hidden rockets, or whatever invention Franky could fit into the small tool, and he had deemed them just a pair of normal shears, thank the sea.

Zoro remained in the galley, kept in place by a coiled Luffy and the promise of _maybe_ getting some extra booze for his turn on watch. After some more coaxing and pretty convincing threats to kick him into the next island, he had managed to make the swordsman willingly sit still as he worked.

Playing hairdresser hadn't been in the job description when Sanji joined, but given that he had done it in the Baratie because cooks wouldn't wait until there any hairdresser came as a customer, and they wouldn't see the end of it if Zeff ever found there was one single strand of hair in that morning's soup, he didn't really mind to fill the task in the Sunny as well, but taking care of the ladies and Usopp's manes was a different deal than dealing with the likes of Zoro and their captain. Sanji stared at the long bangs covering Zoro's eyes. If he had an adult in front of him, Sanji didn't notice because Zoro moved and squirmed and tried to move his hair out of the way to follow Sanji's movements. "Will you sit fucking still?!" he complained, straightening his back. Zoro crossed his arms and his legs, making it the more difficult to get access.

"Not my fault you are a lousy hairdresser."

"Maybe that is... Because I am in fact NOT a hairdresser!" He frowned. Making those extra dishes for Luffy's bottomless stomach had left him exhausted and ready to fall dead or asleep, whichever came first, and the algae wasn't doing it any easier. Nami hit a wall and yelled at them to shut up.

An idea popped up on Sanji's mind. He checked around to make sure the swords had been left a prudent distance away (by Robin's idea, bless her soul), and looked at Zoro with determination.

His first instinct when he saw the cook approach was to get ready to dodge or block, but his palms didn't hold onto anything, and a solid weight settled onto his thighs. His arms were pulled down to his sides and before he could process, a strong pair of legs was encircling them and constricting him just like a snake would.

Sanji let a mocking laugh and let his fingers trace in between the bangs. "Now be a good marimo and stay put." Zoro made a weak attempt to set free but Sanji's legs were as strong as his arms and this time, he had put himself at disadvantage. Zoro grunted and moved his face away, just to show he didn't agree to this.

Sanji curled his slender fingers around the tuft of hair and pulled him to turn in his direction, making Zoro look up and relishing in the fact that he was taller than him in that position. He ignored the small sound that came out of Zoro's throat for the sake of snipping the first hairs with dedicated precision despite the scowl partially hidden by Sanji's hand. "I know you will miss your fellow algae comrades but we can put them in a glass vase and see if they turn into a smaller version of you over time" Sanji jabbed, shooting a goofy grin with an unlit cigarette between his teeth. Zoro shifted under him trying to release his arms but Sanji clenched his thighs harder and pretended it barely took any effort to keep him in place. He was well aware if Zoro wanted he could just get up and go wherever with Sanji curled around him like a very lean and blonde octopus. "Don't you think that would be cute? Maybe tiny Zoro would learn some manners." Zoro stilled and looked up, but let Sanji keep rambling as he went on with his task. "He could use toothpicks as swords, but Usopp would probably do something for him instead and there would have a miniature moss ball with a permanent scowl running around and cutting shoelaces" Sanji rubbed between Zoro's eyebrows with a knuckle as if trying to erase the wrinkles that were very much perennial on his face. "Do you think he would do photosynthesis, or I'd have to make thumb-sized rice balls for the little plant?" Sanji brushed the bristles that fell atop of Zoro´s cheeks. "Ah but if its body is small with a big head like a lollipop it might look more like a cactus, what if it doesn't even have a body and it's just a rolling moss head? I would have to hand feed it like a hamster!" he laughed. "Although you don't seem to have an issue with wolfing anything regardless of the physical limitation keeping you away from food. "Sanji hadn't noticed his grip on the other's body had relaxed, but Zoro didn't even make an attempt to move away. "AH!" the blonde yelled, taking a hold of Zoro's face despite de tools in his hands pressing against the other skin as well. "Your eyelashes are green as well!" he claimed.

"Of course they are" Zoro replied, opening his eyes and frowning. His eyes met with a blue that rivaled with the sky and the sea, and the colors of the underwater creatures hiding in the depth. In return, Sanji was faced with the grey of warm ashes, ready to turn to embers and to wildfire the moment the wind rose them over the land. Sanji's childish fascination faded slowly as he realized how close they were. Zoro just smirked. "Are you going to do something or are we going to stay like this until the end of the night watch?" _Ah, there's the wildfire._

His words snapped Sanji out of his thoughts and the cook jerked back.

"Watch it, idiot!" Zoro yelled, pulling his arms free from Sanji's thigh grip and bracing his hands around the other's waist, barely in time to stop Sanji from falling to the floor. The comb Sanji was holding clattered on the floor a meter or so away from where his handler should have landed. "What the hell are you doing?!" Zoro complained. Sanji still held the scissors firmly on his fingers, the now free hand clinging to Zoro's tricep like it was a lifeline.

"What the hell are YOU doing saying that sort of line?! Put me down!" Sanji yelled while pretending to keep a hushed voice. Zoro rolled his eyes and turned to the side, moving Sanji along with him and making him rest against the bench. The new position allowed Zoro to loom over Sanji. His hair wasn't long enough to obscure the sight but It fell over his cheeks and Sanji felt an impulse to push it behind his ear, but like hell if he would do that.

"It's so weird" Zoro commented. His expression turned serious but there remained the glint of mischievousness in his eyes. "You're 'marimo this, marimo that' all the time but then you go and call that small me you have made up in your mind by my name." He leant forward a little and was stopped by the side of the closed scissors pressed at the base of his neck like a pitiful attempt of a barrier.

"Hey wait up!" Sanji said, regaining some composure and trying to sit. "Is it about that? Little marimo is jealous of an even smaller moss ball?"

"Say my name."

"Not a chance." Sanji felt a pang of guilt as Zoro's expression hardened. The swordsman leant forward some more and the pressure he made twisted the scissors against Sanji's fingers. He winced and Zoro leant back, putting the scissors away and holding the aching hand by the wrist. His lips brushed against the knuckles with a reverence he had only seen the swordsman use when sharpening his weapons. "C'mon shit-cook, call my name for once."

"Then you say mine!" Sanji blurted out, much more flustered than what he would let see.

"Sanji" Zoro replied without hesitation, eyes fixed on the other's face, assesing his reaction.

It took Sanji a few blinks to finally proccess it. "Zoro" he replied, the word holding an unexpected intimacy to it.

Something softer drew a smile onto the swordsman’s face and he leant forward to rest his forehead against the white shirt. Sanji looked down, at the fluffy mass of green hair, and let his fingers run over the thick strands. On touch, Zoro lunged forward, kissing Sanji with force, biting and dragging his tongue over his lips, pressing him close by the back of his head just to pull away in a rush, pulling on the blond locks to make Sanji expose his neck to lick a long strip over the soft skin up to where stubble threatened to appear.

"Fuck" Sanji cursed under his breath, and Zoro felt the vibrations under his touch. "Zoro" he said, what granted him a pleased noise as Zoro kissed over his pulse point. "Not in here." He felt Zoro humping against him, the friction sending a shiver through Sanji's spine. The other's hot breath left misty warmth behind as he pronounced Sanji's name again against his skin. Zoro pulled from his tie, once, twice, unsuccessful attempts to undo the carefully tied knot that held the silky fabric in place.

"Take this off" he said in a plea; but Zoro didn't plead, so he finished a few seconds later with "now." A whisper, but demanding enough to make it look authoritative.

Sanji moved one of his legs between them, using the knee as a lever to move the other away as his deft fingers undid the knot in the tie like it was as easy as pulling a shoelace. "I said" Sanji stated, throwing the undone tie around Zoro's neck, a loose noose tightening around Zoro's neck as Sanji sat up and pulled from it until it clung tightly against the other's skin like a leash. "Not in the galley, mosshead." Despite his words, he leant close enough to make Zoro think for a second he would kiss him, but Sanji blew on them instead and got up, looking over his shoulder as he crossed the doorframe, his back arched and legs moving with the elegance of a cat. Zoro licked his lips at the sight, noticing the cold night air now that his body wasn't pressed flush against the cook's. "In the crow’s nest they won't hear us."

* * *

Zoro had to admit that the way his hair looked now was in fact, funny, but the taunts had been going on and on since the second the rest of the crew had seen him, and he hadn't caught much sleep thanks to a certain someone. Said someone was joking along with the rest, smoking a cigarette and saying that "if he hadn't fought back he would have finished already, but because he did, now he would have to stay with uneven hair until tonight."

Zoro glared at him, his attention too focused on the blonde cook to notice Luffy and Usopp tiptoeing towards him, hairbands and a brush in hand, ready to ambush him and attempt for the second time that day to pull his hair into pigtails.

"Don't tie them too tight or the moss will die and he will get bald spots" Sanji joked, and despite the killer looks he was getting, he winked at Zoro as he took one last drag of his cigarette and got into the galley. "Be done in half an hour if you bastards want your midday snack!" Sanji yelled, disappearing behind the wooden door of the galley.

Whether or not the sniper and the captain noticed the hickey left right under Zoro's left ear, they didn't comment on it.

**Author's Note:**

> A friend who likes Zoro a lot commented it would be cute if he had longer hair, and I obliged.


End file.
